Who Is Cooler Israel Or Palestine Pt.1

Right now you are probably thinking “how boring, he’s blogging about Mideast politics.” Or “why is he assuming he knows what I am thinking?” Or “em I chafing or is that a rash? I should shower more.” But you would be right about the Mideast stuff. It can be a very boring and repetitive controversy.

You might not even know anything about middle eastern politics and that would not be a bad thing. Because everything in that part of the world has been confusing for thousands of years. Yet for the life of me, I cannot tell you who is really in the right. Is it the Israeli’s who reclaimed the “Promised Land” or the Palestinians who became displaced by the Israeli’s reclamation. There are great arguments for both sides. Its a political draw in my mind. Therefor in the tradition of The Art of Hubris, We have defaulted to who is cooler.

So what is cool? Well, being a guy I like guns and in the middle east they apparently like guns too. So there must be some cool guns that have come from there. The IMI DESERT EAGLE fits that bill! It’s been in over 500 movies. That makes it an A list movie star or a porn star. <–(Because porn stars do like hundred of movies.)

Show your poor mother your a mench. Get a Desert Eagle.

The Desert Eagle comes in five different calibers. Yes! Five! And here are your choices: 357Mag, 41 Mag, 44 Mag, 440 Cor-bon, and 50 Action Express. I should also mention that it also comes in gold. Gold is good if you want to pimp it Saddam Hussein stile. Gold is also a good way to impress your Jewish mother who thinks your a shlub.

So what else would I find cool? Again, because I am a guy. I think big chunks of steel on tracks are pretty cool. As I look around, I am seeing a lot of soviet era Titan Slovinian T-62 tanks here on the Gaza Strip. I really like this tank, it won my heart as a kid playing tank sims on my old Sega Genesis. But its just not as cool as the Merkava Mark IV!

Oorah! Come Get Some!

Hoorah! Come Get Some "Muselmann"!

The Merkava or Chariot is far, far cooler than on old Soviet T-62. Its main and best feature is its reactive armor. “Hey! Just one moment you Pickle-Winged Turdfondler! I thought the Syrians had reactive armor on their T-72 tanks supplied by the Ukrainians?” Your right you middle east nerd you. But I’m not comparing Syria and Israel here. So get your own blog.

How cool is it to have plates of armor that explode and destroys the shell that’s impacting it. Just to get to the hull of the Merkava, you would have to hit it three times in the same spot. Talk about overkill! But you need a lot of chutzpah, when your Jewish rolling into an urban situation with bitter Muslims residents. Lets use Abdul as an example of a bitter Palestinian. He’s the angry guy who is hiding with an RPG behind the burnt out ice-cream truck. I guess I would be sore too if  my whole family was killed last week by an Israeli gunship attack. With such a cool tank  like the Merkava, you will be prepared!

Current Score:
Israel: 02
Palestine: zilch

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About David Schaafsma

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice. "Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here." ~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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