Validation For Sale. Pay Up Sucker!

Thank you for coming, but we are all out of free validation.

I recently had someone enlighten me to a fascinating and possibility lucrative side business. This person told me they felt I simply and only served as validation for some of the people I know? According to this person, I serve as an emotional fill station where certain people come to fill up , then only come back when they are running on empty.

Example:

“Hi David! So what have you been up to?…………… Okay stop! That’s all very interesting stuff, but I’m bored now. Let me tell you how great I am… Blah… Blah… Blah… Now let me trump your personal accomplishments with a list of things that I feel make me better than you. Blah… Blah… Blah… Okay, tell me how happy you are for me. And please be specific with your positive comments. I need you to acknowledge every self glorifying point I just made. Okay stop! I feel better about myself now. Unlike when I first started to talk to you when I was pretending I was happy. Bye!”

So this gave me an idea. Conversations like this can feel like work. Why should I not try to make a few extra bucks for my personal time? Its kind of like prostitution. Prostitution offers validation to the lonely soul. I can emotionally prostitute myself. Being an emotional hooker I won’t get a VD, murdered by a Jon, have my face slashed by my pimp, and it’s legal! Also now is a great time to start.

With the economy heading for another recession. Its been proven people will be looking for “pick me ups” and entertainment that provide them with an escape. Just look at the sales of DVD’s, video game systems, chocolate, and alcohol during economic downturns. With people looking for feelgood and rewarding escapes from the horrific reality of their lives; why not ask for payment for something people want from me (moral arguments aside) for free? Would you ask your accountant to do your taxes for free? Well, you might be capable of asking that because we both know your an asshole.

My Dilemma is finding out the level of satisfaction people currently receive from me validating them. This needs to be known so I can attach an reasonable fee scale for my services. I could hand out a survey asking people to evaluate my validating ability after “experiencing” me. The survey should incorporate a zero to ten sliding scale. Zero representing “Go to hell! If you speak to me again or I will kill you and/or myself, my family, and my entire neighborhood!” A rating of Ten would mean “You are the love of my life please marry me and have my children and my friends children and I believe the soap scum in your bathtub cures cancer!” I believe those are reasonable delineations for my scale. Right? I will try it out and post an update with the results. Or I can just continue not charging people for this service. People have gotta’ like ya’ for something right?

You might find this post in bad taste. But what would you expect from a blog with the name The Art of Hubris? Here is a link to starting your own blog named The Art of Good Taste. Or you can repudiate this post with an angry comment. I’m happy with either.

Advertisements

About David Schaafsma

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice. "Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here." ~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
This entry was posted in Humor, Life, Satire, Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s