The Schwarzenegger Amendmendment

No matter what your political bent might be, amending the Constitution to allow Arnold Schwarzenegger to become president would simply kick ass. He is this big intimidating cartoon like guy that also says the most screwed up and absurd cartoon things. Here are some examples from his term as “Governator” of California.

Examples:

“To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say, Don’t be economic girlie men!” ~Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger

OR

“She’s either Puerto Rican, or the same thing as Cuban, I mean they are all very hot. They have the, you know, part of the black blood in them and part of the Latino blood in them that together makes it.” ~Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Just imagine during high level security meetings with foreign dignitaries and Arnold leans over to Sweden’s Crown Princess Victoria and says “I can look at a chick who’s a little out of shape and if she turns me on, I won’t hesitate to date her. If she’s a good f**k she can weigh 150 pounds, I don’t care.” <—(Another actual quote.) Would that not be SNL GOLD?

You remember the days of stupid quotes from Bush Jr.? I miss that kind of inane b.s. coming out of our most powerful leader. Here are some examples of what to expect from President Schwarzenegger.

“I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.” ~Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Having a pump is like having sex. I train two, sometimes three times a day. Each time I get a pump. It’s great. I feel like I’m coming all day.” ~Arnold Schwarzenegger

“My relationship to power and authority is that I’m all for it. People need somebody to watch over them. Ninety-five percent of the people in the world need to be told what to do and how to behave.” ~Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold would be an endless source of the best inane b.s. a nation might want or need. I bet our old buddy President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would think twice about refining even just another milligram of weapons grade uranium with a president in the White House saying things like:

“I like the color red because it’s a fire. And I see myself as always being on fire.” ~Arnold Schwarzenegger

In conclusion, I hope I have made my case for a President Schwarzenegger. So lets continue to be the self-destructive country that we are and amend our Constitution!

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About David Schaafsma

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice. "Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here." ~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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